“Manipulation” is almost like a covert death threat for most people.
The moment you even say the word manipulation, everyone’s shields go up to 110%.
You can’t manipulate me! I have free will! I will do what I want, and will not be coerced or controlled!
What we don’t recognize is that we all use manipulation EVERYWHERE.
We sell our ideas to our friends, we influence our better halves into various activities (out of the gutter, people), and we make the clerk at Safeway smile.
You: “I want to see Avatar! It sounds like an amazing movie, and my friends are making fun of me for not having seen it.”
Them: “I prefer a romance, thank you.” *crossing arms and raising one eyebrow*
You: “But wouldn’t it be great to just shut off your logic and experience a feast for the senses? We watched a romance last week.”
Which phrase contained some form of manipulation? Right. All of them.
Enrolling, sales, communication, body language… Manipulation is everywhere.
I think manipulation is great, and developing it as a skill is incredibly useful in life and business.
As technology teachers, we can teach better if we are expert manipulators. As advisors, we can connect and communicate better if we are expert manipulators.
Manipulation is not the problem.
The issue is our intent.
If we do not have the other person’s very best possible interests in mind when using active and calculated manipulation, we’re lying – or worse, hurting people. I think it could even be viewed as violence in many situations.
In the quest to help lead or influence people into making decisions that are good for them, we will be tempted by various self-serving or questionable opportunities.
Sort of like walking through the candy aisle in 7-11 to get to the orange juice.
Our compass to the orange juice section – our sherpa, if you will – needs to be pure intent backed by strong ethics and morals.
That’s not to say our intent must be 100% altruistic, as I don’t really think that’s possible. I think we can help ourselves while also helping others. Perhaps a ratio of 80/20 or 90/10 is fitting… If such a thing can even be measured.
So go… Watch Avatar, enrol your close friends, and enjoy it thoroughly while recognizing what it took for you to get everyone in a room together.
And of course, this all assumes we know what’s best for someone else, which is a whole different story – but here’s a hint on that concept. 😉
