Questions are underrated.
We all walk around with our own filters, our own assumptions, our own perspectives. We each have our own opinions and expectations, guided by our own set of rules and requirements.
Our life experiences are our own, unique to us. It’s almost impossible for someone else to understand them fully without hours and hours of deep, soulful explanation.
They come from an entire lifetime of learning things the hard way.
That’s not an issue.
The problem comes in when we hold other people to our own set of expectations and guidelines.
We hold other people to the expectations we set for ourselves – and they usually don’t even know it’s happening.
This is a huge communication killer – it’s like a wrench in the gears of relationship building.
When working with people in technology and in business, we must adopt one fundamental concept:
I think I understand, but I don’t.
We do not have any idea what the other person is capable of, we have no idea what they know, and we have no idea what they want. Right when you think you understand, you actually don’t.
The only way to work through this minefield-like obstacle course is to ask a lot of questions. For example:
- What do you want? What’s the goal?
- What is important to you? Why?
- How can I help you with that?
- What would you want to get out of this time with me?
- Am I explaining things clearly enough?
- Is there anything I can do differently to be more helpful?
- Would you like me to rewind a bit and explain differently?
- Have you worked with a system like this before?
- How important is this information to you?
- Is this something you want to know about or should we move to a different subject?
Hm…interesting 🙂