I feel like there are two main styles of leadership in the world. And I think it’s a lifestyle – I can even be a leader while ordering a large double double and a muffin for just me at Tim Horton’s on Davie street.
I oscillate between the two styles depending on the day or the situation, but I know which one I want to spend more time in.
The old way: There are policies and rules, you do it because I said so, I don’t show any weakness. You have a role. Know it and do it. Don’t complain, you’re lucky to be here. If you don’t do your job, there is a problem. You’re a liability and you might be fired.
In this model, anyone who is under-performing is looked down upon. Anyone who fails at something is a problem, or there’s something wrong with them. If you don’t know how to do something, it’s pretty bad. There’s an expectation that you really should know by now.
I experience this in myself as a little internal combustion reaction. Like if the Tim Horton’s guy gets me the banana walnut muffin when I asked for blueberry. Silently, inside my head, I rub between my eyebrows meaningfully and mutter “idiot”, then in a terse tone I might say “Oh. Yeah, noooo. I asked for banana walnut.” He will apologize, and I will smile and say “no problem,” while still thinking less of him. I’ll walk away and forget all about it.
The new way: There is an objective, a shared goal. We’re aligned towards it and clear on what it is. You do it because I asked you to and you trust me. You want the same thing I want. I lead with honest vulnerability and consistent effort towards the goal. We all openly discuss weaknesses and strengths, and seek to build our strength as a group.
In this model, anyone who fails or is under-performing might be afraid, inexperienced, or distracted by a competing priority. There might be something going on at home, and their head just isn’t in the game. We’ve all been there, we get it. If you don’t know how to do something, it’s an opportunity to learn. The only expectation is that you will keep putting effort towards the commitments you’ve made and the outcome you said you want.
In the Tim Horton’s example, he gets the wrong muffin and I wonder if I might have spoken too quietly or too quickly. I wonder if he’s had any sleep last night, or been made fun of by the group of teenagers who came in before me. I hope he’s okay, and care for his well being in that moment. I apologize for talking to quietly and ask for the right muffin. Then, I ask him if he’s had a long night or if he’s off work soon. I wish him well.
The world is changing. It takes effort to change, and to care accordingly.
Are you willing to try?
Thanks.